~she crossed over~

Last post I told you about how my mother took a fancy on my "Spiral Hearts"
and how it got destroyed in the fire she had in her house.
Now I tell you about her death.
She died on the 10th of march,
so suddenly that I have not recoverd from the shock.
O I know she had a severe heartcondition.
I know her kidneys got damaged by her medication.
I know she had lung-problems.
But she was not ready to go yet and we had so many plans to work out together.
I have been crying for weeks now and just today I managed to paint for the first time.
It's not ready yet but alive and kicking.
You can't see anything of my grieve in the painting.
It is a happy painting,full of live and spring and hope in it.
She saw the start of it...it has been waiting for inspiration for months and months.
And now,
I imagine she guided my hand,
stood behind me,
coached me,
in making this piece of work.
Hope she wil be proud of me.
Hope she wil be as happy as the painting itself now she joined my father in heaven.
Hope I wil be one day that happy again too.
~